Taylor Swift in JavaScript

Spotted on Reddit…What if a Taylor Swift song were written in JavaScript?:

if (currentTime > bedTime) {
    inBedOnTime = false;
}
brain.contents = [];
people.say("that");
people.say("that");

while (datesGoneOn < tooManyDates) {
    goOnDate();
}
try {
    them.stay();
} catch (e) {
    console.log("Failed to make them stay.");
}
people.say("that");
people.say("that");

while (true) {
    keepOnCruising();
    if (false) {
        movement.stop();
    }
}
mind.addMusic("It's gonna be alright");

for (i=0; i <3; ++i) {
    players.play();
}
for (i=0; i <3; ++i) {
    haters.hate();
}
for (i=0; i <3; ++i) {
    this.shake();
}
var it, shake = ['it', 'it', 'it', 'it'];
it = shake.pop();
it = shake.pop();

for (i=0; i <3; ++i) {
    heartbreakers.break();
}
for (i=0; i <3; ++i) {
    fakers.fake();
}
for (i=0; i <3; ++i) {
    this.shake();
}
it = shake.pop();
it = shake.pop();

If you use Javascript, you will have seen this won’t actually work; it should obviously have been written in Swift.